It starts out like a flash on a camera.
A quick glimpse of what was.
At first you smile and then move on.
But the flash keeps coming,
each time affecting you a little more.
Flash. Flash. Flash.
You start to feel nervous, jittery.
Your mind gets cloudy
and it is hard to be present in life.
Flash. Flash. Flash.
The smallest things set you off.
Irritation is at the tip of your tongue.
Why can't you forget.
Why does it even matter?
Why does it bother you so much?
FLASH. FLASH. FLASH.
No you can't sleep.
Your stomach is shooting up acid for you to swallow.
You close your eyes but all you see is
FLASH. FLASH. FLASH
Then comes regret.
If only statements spurt out
Fear that you are
becoming someone that you hate.
Desperately you turn to a friend,
but don't tell them the whole truth.
Then comes the writing.
Sorrow builds as you remember loss.
All the pain of the past comes rushing back.
A pressure on your throat
makes it hurt to swallow.
Tears start to fall
at the sham of your weakness.
Flash.
You cry out.
Save me.
Help me be better.
Help me be stronger.
Help me do your will.
Amen.
