Strength

The sun has risen and I am resurfacing.

Life is being thrust toward me with new determination.

Fears are demolished with the might of the pen.

Strength is thrust upon me by a invigorating force.

Today my life with have purpose

and bring joy to others.

Now. Right now

is the time I have been blessed with

Make the change.

Be the change.

Come into full potential and grace.

I am not alone.

Flash

It starts out like a flash on a camera.

A quick glimpse of what was.

At first you smile and then move on.

But the flash keeps coming,

each time affecting you a little more.

Flash. Flash. Flash.

You start to feel nervous, jittery.

Your mind gets cloudy

and it is hard to be present in life.

Flash. Flash. Flash.

The smallest things set you off.

Irritation is at the tip of your tongue.

Why can't you forget.

Why does it even matter?

Why does it bother you so much?

FLASH. FLASH. FLASH.

No you can't sleep.

Your stomach is shooting up acid for you to swallow.

You close your eyes but all you see is

FLASH. FLASH. FLASH

Then comes regret.

If only statements spurt out

Fear that you are

becoming someone that you hate.

Desperately you turn to a friend,

but don't tell them the whole truth.

Then comes the writing.

Sorrow builds as you remember loss.

All the pain of the past comes rushing back.

A pressure on your throat

makes it hurt to swallow.

Tears start to fall

at the sham of your weakness.

Flash.

You cry out.

Save me.

Help me be better.

Help me be stronger.

Help me do your will.

Amen.

Snow

Snow has fallen

and covered all the grey.

White fluff is all around.

Everything is clean and neat.

Individual flakes

that are to hard to decipher.

Fall to the once barren ground.

It is so cold.

Yet I am happy I am alive.

The snow is a protection

to the frail and the week.

that are left outside to suffer.

All alone and unprotected

Snow heeds the warning and stays

for protection.

For complete peace.

For solace.

Snow has fallen

and covered the grey.

Emotion

I feel a shift deep inside.

Something has happened unexpectedly.

Some part of me that has been asleep or broken

has come alive again. I do not recognize it.

I do not understand it.

But i follow it.

I let this phenomenon

twist, shape,mold and conform

me into a new model.

Warmth and kindness flood through

me like a summers day.

It bursts forth into the forefront

and demands to be heard.

"I have returned"

"You will never shut me down again"

"I love you"

"I will protect you forever"

Propofol

Darkness.

Strange noises.

I can't move.

My hands are tide down.

I would not be able to move much anyway.

My eyelids feel taped shut.

I am barely breathing through a straw in my throat.

Panic springs up like wildfire.

I am gaging. I feel a wave of pain and terror.

I am drowning. I can't stop it.

Loud piercing screams are all around me.

What is going on?

Where am I?

Who created this nightmare I am in?

I hear the piercing sound stop,

and the sound of a calm soothing voice.

She say's " It's okay. You are in the hospital.

You have a tube in your throat helping you to breath.

It is the middle of the night.

I will give you some medicine to help you relax.

You are safe."

I feel the panic start to fade.

I am able to breath once again.

All I feel now is a warm hand in my own

comforting me.

I stop fighting and let myself relax.

Ah. Bliss..

Pain free, care free,

and back into my wonderland.

You are

Be the extra cushion in my shoe.

Be the air bag for my heart.

Surround me like a flotation device.

and keep me afloat.

Have the stains from my past dry cleaned.

Polish my soul so it can be seen.

Lift me high enough, so I can try.

Or give me wing so I can fly.

The pain is down. Down deep.

Hard to find yet hard to keep.

Hold me close and keep me safe.

Love me more than all this place.

Forgive my past and wipe me clean.

Remember the old and how I've grown.

Help me "be the change" and grow into you.

Goodnight

August touches me in the tender home of change.

I am awakened with intrigue and glee.

I embrace the next chapter and keep my eyes open

for the one in which to enjoy the rebirth.

I am change, I am surrender. I am love, I am forever.

Sorrow tickles my past, just out of grasp.

I seek a full awakening and safe pasture.

I yearn for you and what is to come.

Hold me closer than another.

Feel my lips and don't let me shutter.

Goodnight love, goodnight friend.

Be real, be light, be true, stay in sight.

Love one another and the One.